Journal 6

What the hell?!! This morning I shook myself awake from a dream. I shouted "get me out of here! I don't wana be here!" while I shook head hardly from left to right and right to left. Its not a nightmare with eerie or scary monsters appearing. This is something more reality. It was like a preview of the future that what would be the possibilities if I had done what I was planing to do. Being scared and pulling myself out from it means I can't accept it. I'm too afraid to accept it. Should I continue? or I should stop it right now? I'm very confused.

Guided by those who cares for me, both their assumption of the response are negative. What should I do now? Furthermore, there was this dream....

Here I can assure to everyone that I am NOT okay. The things I do, the activities I'd carried out and the events I attended are all a form of distraction. I've tried to apporach, tired to talk, tried to make conversation but everything seemed to be not in favour to me. I'm really lost right now.


Looking at the dark sky makes you daze,
Looking at you makes me amaze,
Loosing sight is a sign of turning blind,
Thoughts are controlled by the great mind.